The different types of submissive

By Sir Paul

Sometimes we tend to speak in absolutes.  We read a word like “submissive” or “dominant” and we forget there are different types of submissive and/or levels of submission. The type of submissive depends upon the person you are and how you choose to grow. Before you starting reading this please remember this is my opinion based upon my knowledge and experience over the years.


The Bottom:


In understanding the submissive a good place to start is “the bottom”.  The bottom is the person who in the BDSM lifestyle enjoys the pain.  Wishes to be on the receiving end of the “flogger”. The bottom my direct the session before or during the session, the bottom maintains the control. A Dominant can be a bottom and derive pleasure from the act of bottoming with out submitting. The act of bottoming is not always sexual but most of the time it is. The bottom does not release real control to the top. It is more of a mutual partnership. Some good examples of “The Bottom” are those who are in to the spanking sect of the lifestyle. I have met spankers who will tell you they are not submissive and they don’t have a submissive bone in their body. They are in this for the sexual pleasure of the pain.   The bottom is more of an act rather then a state of mind.


The bedroom submissive:


Next type of submissive is the bedroom submissive. The best way to portray this type of submissive is in every facet of life she/he may be like the bottom or a vanilla but when the bedroom door shuts the roles drop and he/she submits to the dominant. In the bedroom is where the power exchange happens. It is also where the power exchange stays. This is almost always sexual. In the bedroom the act of submission is complete. However when the bedroom door is open the bedroom submissive returns to the vanilla world or role.


The difference between the “bedroom submissive” and the “Bottom” is control. The Bottom is in control. However the bedroom submissive gives control to the dominant but only in the bedroom.


The Psychological Submissive:


This act of submission happens in the mind of the submissive. It happens outside of the bedroom outside of the sexual arena. In his or her mind the submissive has a need to surrender to the dominant. The act of submission is a psychological event. She/he can give her/him self to the dominant. She/he can give as little or as much as the psychological submissive wishes or needs to give. Then she/he would become responsibility of the dominant to determine her/his choices and directions.  A psychological submissive can give up as much or as little as she/he needs to surrender. The surrendering of the power is the driving force. Once the psychological submissive surrenders she/he can, simply become nothing. She/he can abandon her/himself completely to her dominant. Trusting in the Dominant’s strength. Thus the power exchange is completed.


The Submissive with the slave heart:


This is the deepest level of submission. The submissive with the slave’s heart whishes to completely surrendered without becoming a slave. In the psychological submissive the submission comes from a psychological need to submit. However the heart is a different matter. The love of the dominant is craved. The submissive with the slave’s heart desires to give her/his heart as well as her/his submission to the Dominant. The psychological submissive needs not be in love to submit. However I feel the submissive with the slave’s heart has a need to give not only submission but also love with that submission. The submissive with the heart of a slave is at the threshold of completely surrendering her/himself to the Dominant. The level of trust is greater in the submissive with the slave’s heart then the psychological submissive.


The Slave:


Unlike the submissive the slave surrenders complete control to the Master/Mistress. Am I saying a slave has no limits? No I believe we all have our limits weather those limits may be moral or cultural, I believe those limits do exist. I believe a good loving master/mistress will respect the limits of his property “the slave” and take care of the slave.


The slave has an undying need to become owned by her/his Master/Mistress. I use the think “The Slave” was an extension  “The Submissive” but a few months back someone suggested they were two different creatures. And I wonder if that is true.


The Slave must feel completely owned by master/mistress. The slave feels like nothing until Master/Mistress gives the slave identity.  When Master/Mistress is happy the slave is happy. Most of the true slaves I have talked to feel this way. They feel most complete when with Master/Mistress. The slave beams when she/he brings Master/Mistress pleasure. The slave must surrender, and the slave is not happy until she/he has surrendered. The slave feels completed when surrendering to Master/Mistress


Weather you believe the slave is just an extension of submission or that the slave is a different creature all-together, the slave has the deepest need to be owned by master/mistress. The slave must also have the deepest level of trust in Master/Mistress


Final thought:


There are only 2 things that are absolute in life. Those 2 things are death and taxes. And some feel they can cheat the taxman. But if you know away to cheat death please send me a private e-mail.


What I am saying is this. The above is just my take on submission. There are many different levels. But what is most important thing is that you must be true to yourself. The submissive is not better then the bottom and the slave is not better then the submissive. Remember the line from Hamlet “ Above all else to thy own self be true.”